Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
