omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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