I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
dude. I can hear the air.
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