Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You took a bar mat shot.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
