I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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