She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
