I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
