I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
