we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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