i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
