went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
no you cant smoke seaweed
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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