just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
