Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
