im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
