Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
