That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
