Sponge bath it is.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
