oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
