with your own penis?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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