i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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