Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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