so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
