I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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