Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
