Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
