it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
