your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
