Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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