His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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