...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
