Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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