i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
