Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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