I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
