I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
