Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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