it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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