he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize