My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
