i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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