i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
