I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
