just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
