Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
