I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
