Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
