Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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