I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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