meet me or not, i'm out of control
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
