Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
