god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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